*Opinions of the author do not necessarily represent the opinions of Tap Trail.*

Hello Everyone, and welcome to another installment of Pop Culture Pairing, a Tap Trail series where we take our favorite pop culture characters and pair them with popular craft brews. Catch up with past articles on Star WarsDavid Bowie, and The Muppets.

What an interesting race this presidential election has been. As it becomes more and more difficult to watch debates soberly, it only seemed appropriate to curate a craft beer lineup inspired by the 2016 presidential candidates. If you only read one piece of political news during the election, well, it probably shouldn’t be this list… But enjoy regardless! And remember, don’t drink and vote!


Democratic Candidates

Clinton1web_2831249bHillary Clinton: Hop Cooler – Ninkasi Brewing

Clinton’s not like regular moms, she’s a cool mom. Throughout Clinton’s campaign, her team has done all in their power to portray the former US Secretary of State as a chill woman of the people. That means her coolness hops from method to method; from letting actress Lena Dunham run her Instagram page to posting an article on her official website on “7 Things Hillary Clinton has in Common Your Abuela.” While Hop Cooler is warm in color, it has a bite to it.


senator-bernie-sanders-5Bernie Sanders: Chili Bravo – Menace Brewing

Menace may not have the space and funding of all the other Bellingham breweries, but this microbrewery has made its place in town as a viable force to be reckoned with. Sanders is the crazy old man riding all of his campaign support on the financial backings of the average American people. As for the beer choice, Sanders is wacky, unconventional, and has some pretty ambitious ideas, much like putting hot chilis in a beer. Plus, #feelthebern.


Republican Candidates

imagesJeb Bush: Time Traveler Shandy – The Traveler Brewing Co.

If you had the chance to go back in time in kill baby Hitler, would you do it? Well, if you’re Jeb Bush, the answer is “hell yeah!” For the former governor of Florida, here’s a a fruit beer that can help make all of his wildest baby Hitler-killing dreams come true. Go forth and prevent the greatest genocide in recent history from happening, Mr. Bush!


deadstate-Ben-CarsonBen Carson: Pyramid Hefeweizen – Pyramid Breweries, Inc.

For being a retired neurosurgeon, Ben Carson has been known to say some pretty interesting and unexpected things. One of my all time favorites: The pyramids were built by Joseph to store grain. Well Dr. Carson, here’s a beer that may very well have been brewed using the grain stored in the pyramids pictured on the bottle itself!


U.S. Senator Cruz speaks to members of the Texas Federation of Republican Women in San Antonio, TexasTed Cruz: Crazy Train Black IPA – Mountain Town Brewing

Before I begin, let me just say I’m not calling Ted Cruz crazy. In fact, he’s a self proclaimed crazy person, according to his book.

“For a long time, the left has had two caricatures of conservatives: that we are either stupid or evil. I take it as a backhanded compliment that they have, to some extent, invented a third category for me: ‘crazy.'”

I’m just going along with what he’s saying.


Senator Marco Rubio is interviewed by National Journal's Major Garrett during the Washington Ideas forum, at The Newseum in WashingtonMarco Rubio: Head Hunter IPA – Fat Head Brewing

If elected president, Senator Marco Rubio is “going to rebuild our intelligence capabilities, and they’re going to tell us where the terrorists are.” He goes on to explain that he’d then bring them back to Guantanamo Bay and “we will find out everything they know,” hinting at torture. Exciting, right?! Let’s all elect him right now because apparently he knows how to find all the bad guys and can save the world from destruction!


120414_an_kasich_640John Kasisch: Working for Tips – Moonlight Brewing 

This one is dedicated to all the Hispanic workers who have ever been tipped by John Kasisch. If you recall, Kasisch relayed that you should be sure to tip Hispanics who “occupy jobs from top to bottom,” according to an interview on Meet the Press. “They’re God-fearing and they’re hard-working.” Kasisch himself made sure that he tipped the Hispanic maid in his hotel who wrote a note that she “cared about

[his] stay here” and who even gave him some extra soap when Kasisch asked! Gracias, Kasisch.


635838115365780122-901575687_6358235333419573281092854367_donald-trumpDonald Trump: Arrogant Bastard Ale – Arrogant Bastard Brewing (Stone Brewing)

As it says on the bottle, “Hated by many. Loved by few. You’re not worthy.” Honestly, there’s a lot I could do on Donald Trump, but I decided to keep it simple. Trump may be a lot of things, but he’s an arrogant bastard first and foremost. There’s not much else to say about it.