Hello everyone, and welcome to another installment of Pop Culture Pairing, a Tap Trail series where we combine our love of beer culture with our love of pop culture.
This week, we travel to Westeros and beersonify Game of Thrones characters with a popular brew.
*Spoilers ahead. Be wary reading on if you aren’t caught up with the series.
Jon Snow: Bastard Kat IPA – Kulshan Brewing
Oh Jon the Bastard, the whole world is still mourning over you. I contemplated pairing Jon Snow with Rogue’s Dead Guy Ale, but 1) it felt too soon and 2) I’m still praying Melisandre will resurrect him in season 6. Instead, I went with the obvious pairing.
Tyrion Lannister: A Little Sumpin’ Sumpin’ Ale – Lagunitas Brewing
If there was ever an argument for big things come in small packages, it would be Tyrion Lannister. He may be a dwarf, but what he lacks in brawn he makes up for with brain. He’s wise and extremely skilled in wordplay; talking himself out of deadly situations numerous times. Plus, anyone who kills his father with a crossbow on the toilet is more than “just a dwarf.”
Jaime Lannister: Handy’s Gold – Singin’ River Brewing
Ah, everyone’s favorite jerk turned not so jerk. We’ve really watched the Kingslayer transform over the course of the series, haven’t we? In terms of beer though, losing a hand is ~almost~ worth it if it means getting a sweet gold replacement.
Cersei Lannister: Walk of Shame Belgian Wheat Whine – Boomtown Brewery
Oh I just can’t wait to be queen. From weird incest stuff with Jamie to having people murdered all the freaking time, the whole naked shame walk through King’s Landing scene had to be the most uncomfortably satisfying thing I’ve ever witnessed. Shame. Shame. Shame.
Arya Stark: Shorty’s Revenge – E.J. Phair Brewing
Such a badass. There isn’t much to say besides that. Arya may be just a child, but this girl is freaking deadly! Her family will be avenged!
Sansa Stark: Already Taken – The Beer’d Brewing Co.
Man, what a bummer of a character. Basically since season 2 we’ve watched Sansa been a captive, but the captors have changed three times! She is so damn helpless. I guess one advantage of jumping off a castle wall is she won’t be taken captive anymore? Unless she survived the fall, then god help that depressing woman.
Theon Greyjoy/Reek: Dick’s Silk Lady – Dick’s Brewing
Speaking of pathetic… Betrayed the Stark house, burned farm boys (WHO WEREN’T EVEN STARK KIDS), Theon went from being a huge dick to having no dick. Poor torture Reek. Again, who knows if surviving the castle jump is even worth it. I mean, how’s he going to dig his way out of the snow and ice without all of his fingers?
Brienne of Tarth: Road Warrior Imperial Rye IPA – Green Flash Brewing
Giant female warrior hear her roar! Girl fought a bear in a freaking pit! She spent three seasons searching for the missing Stark sisters, and she kicked major ass while doing so! God, she’s so awesome.
Daenerys Targaryen: Dragonstooth Oatmeal Stout – Elysian Brewing
She’s the effing mother of dragons. What more do you want?
Jorah Mormont: Pour Judgement IPA – Grey Sail Brewing
Daenerys freaking banishes him from the city and yet Jorah is still trying to get with her?! Calm down, dude. That’s the point in which any sane person would move on, but instead Jorah literally fights his way back in, contracting greyscale while doing so. Poor little rabid romantic, doing anything to help his queen.
Most universally hated character. Pure evil. Loves torturing and killing people. Captures women and strips them naked then lets them run away and sends his dogs after them to kill them. Sounds like every frat guy’s favorite beer to me.