In a perfect world, I would be curled up on the couch, snuggled between Han Solo and Chewbacca, listening to stories of their adventures over a few beers. Sadly, this world is flawed and from what people tell me, picturing a future together with a fictional character is “unhealthy.”
What I can do, however, is beersonify my love of Star Wars. With the approach of Episode VII this December, it only makes sense to pair some of the iconic characters to a popular brew. I apologize in advance if I left out a character you wanted to see; I’m only one person and dealing with a whole galaxy here.
Chewbacca: Wookey Jack IPA – Firestone Walker
Okay, I know this one’s a little obvious but it honestly felt dirty picking anything but Wookey Jack. Besides the name, Wookey Jack is not your typical IPA. It has big, bold flavors and a strong ABV of 8.3%, yet it’s quite drinkable. Hmmm… Big yet approachable… Sort of like a everyone’s favorite fuzzball…
Luke Skywalker: Daddy Issues Amber Ale – Last Call Brewing
Poor Luke. Always looking for a father figure (or grandfather figure) only to find out that your actual father is the a-hole you’ve been trying to defeat for the length of two movies. I would fling myself off a bridge too.
Anakin Skywalker: Fade to Black – Left Hand Brewing
He was the chosen one! The Jedi council believed in him! He was supposed to take down the Sith Order! Too bad he never got over his emo phase and pulled the biggest dick move in history: crossing over to the dark side. Which leads us to…
Darth Vader: Bourbon Barrel Aged Dark Star – Fremont Brewing
To be fair, it would have been too easy to choose the DarthVader Imperial Stout by Snake River. Instead, I believe this is the perfect pairing for Darth Vader. Dark, strong, aged to a point where it’s going to do some serious damage. However, much like our heavy breathing foe, this beer ends on some surprisingly sweet notes.
Princess Leia: Sister Midnight Black Saison – Naked City/Ninkasi Brewing
Again, poor Luke. In one of the most disturbing plot reveals, Princess Leia turns out to be Luke’s twin sister! Troy from Community words that confusion best with this line. However, most notable about Princess Leia is all the unexpected traits that come out throughout the series. What you expect to be a typical light character turns sultry and dark, ultimately saving Han Solo and murdering Jabba the Hutt.
Han Solo: Macho Libre IPA – Hop Valley Brewing
Brooding. Arrogant. Sexy. Leader. Damn. Han Solo is epitome of machismo, however you can’t help fall for him and his charm. He earns the right to a bitter beer, but one that goes down smoothly.
Yoda: The Wise ESB – Elysian Brewing
This one’s pretty self explanatory. While he could use a lesson on grammar, this extra special Jedi Master basically inadvertently saves the whole damn galaxy. Offering wisdom and training, he had a hand in transforming all the great Jedi in the Order into the powerful forces they were. And although he may be small in size, he has an unexpected kick.
C-3P0: Paranoid Aledroid – Triple Crossing Brewing
Gold in color, I’m wondering if Triple Crossing named this beer specifically after 3P0. While incredibly loyal, C-3P0 seems to never have faith in success, but instead is always preparing for impending doom. Although, I guess anyone would be if they were completely dismantled and put back together again.
R2-D2: Galaxy Hero – Revolution Brewing
The most underrated character ever. From putting out fires, to repairing ships, to projecting holograms that put the entire story into motion, R2-D2 was tied to some of the most pivotal moments of saving the galaxy. Just think what would have happened if Luke ended up buying a different droid like he originally planned! There wouldn’t be Star Wars, it would just be Star Domination.
And there you have it. Star Wars characters beersonified. If you liked this article, be sure to comment which pop culture pairing we should do next.